2002-05-22 - 7:31 p.m.
Today I had a thought. Do you think that I like guys who make me act like an idiot in front of them, or do I act like an idiot because I like them?
Ah, the time old which came first the idiocy or the attraction dilemma.
Linguistics tutorial today: You know smartguy, may have mentioned him in an entry once? He was staring at me a few (okay, 2 ... but later he provided direct evidence on having eavesdropped on me last week) times today.
At first it freaked me out and I had to do that stupidity checklist (for girls):
(1) Am I fully clothed?
[(b) Are my breasts showing?]
(2) Do I have something on my face?
(3) Does my hair look weird?
[(b) Is my hair sticking up because I mistook a yucky substance for hair gel?]
(4) Quick glance over self for anything which promotes ridicule {was obviously stumped by this one as my entire body is open to ridicule in one way or another}
Except for (4), I strangely passed test with flying colours. So...? During 2nd relatively long staring incident (under a minute but I find anything more than 5 seconds offputting) I made like I was doing a scan of the room and pretended to accidently catch his eyes.
Only for half a second but awww ... tingly. Brain is forced to agree with gut instinct, he must have been checking me out.
This makes me slightly giddy but before you know it my mind is imagining having his babies. And since I could easily be drawing the wrong conclusion or even if not chances are nothing will happen there so will keep stupid heart in check.
In psych today we learned that happy people are more stupid because they think less critically and stuff.
Don't know why I put that there but is probably somewhat relevant to the above.
Meanwhile do you find it weird that I now have guy liking in my two main parts of life, uni and work? I feel suspicious of myself and have to wonder whether some part of me is making my liking for them up for entertainment just so it isn't bored to tears by my lack of lovelife 24/7.
Bright side: Got ling exam mark and got 79% ... in uni terms that equals a distinction. Yeah baby!
Stayed up til 6 am finishing psych assignment other morning. Note to self, make appointment with counsellor because I am f***ing insane. Isn't it cute that I scribbled this on a hot pink postit and stuck it up near other messages such as "Get a haircut"?
Okay, maybe not cute so much as darn weird. But the postit looks damn cute .. woo ..
Am wearing string of fake pearls I bought yesterday. Also bought a backpack and a tacky shirt with "Midnight Cowgirl" written on it.
Mmm, tacky. Meanwhile, should arrange weekly or at least fortnightly shopping trips with Alex. Although possibly not too frequent as my bank account keeps emptying at alarming rates.
I did some more shopping today (was out of net time, bought more [prepaid]) and there is only about $150 left in there ... I'm not even sure that will cover the beauticians, hairdressers and proof of age card. Crap.
Meanwhile am having seriously mixed emotions about oncoming birthday. Possibly because I always expect them to be perfect and when they inevitably fall short I go on an anger trip with myself ... it's not fun ... so this year I shall stay at home and bundle myself up and wait for the day to be over.
Possibly I might barricade the windows and doors for fun.
Meanwhile my mother is insisting we go out to dinner. Yuck. I don't like taking my parents out together in public ... they go beyond embarrassing too much of the time.
So, basic yuckfest planned next week. Although presents from parents will be somewhat of a yay (new phone, thank god) so perhaps that will salvage it. How's your week looking?
Ah, the time old which came first the idiocy or the attraction dilemma.
Linguistics tutorial today: You know smartguy, may have mentioned him in an entry once? He was staring at me a few (okay, 2 ... but later he provided direct evidence on having eavesdropped on me last week) times today.
At first it freaked me out and I had to do that stupidity checklist (for girls):
(1) Am I fully clothed?
[(b) Are my breasts showing?]
(2) Do I have something on my face?
(3) Does my hair look weird?
[(b) Is my hair sticking up because I mistook a yucky substance for hair gel?]
(4) Quick glance over self for anything which promotes ridicule {was obviously stumped by this one as my entire body is open to ridicule in one way or another}
Except for (4), I strangely passed test with flying colours. So...? During 2nd relatively long staring incident (under a minute but I find anything more than 5 seconds offputting) I made like I was doing a scan of the room and pretended to accidently catch his eyes.
Only for half a second but awww ... tingly. Brain is forced to agree with gut instinct, he must have been checking me out.
This makes me slightly giddy but before you know it my mind is imagining having his babies. And since I could easily be drawing the wrong conclusion or even if not chances are nothing will happen there so will keep stupid heart in check.
In psych today we learned that happy people are more stupid because they think less critically and stuff.
Don't know why I put that there but is probably somewhat relevant to the above.
Meanwhile do you find it weird that I now have guy liking in my two main parts of life, uni and work? I feel suspicious of myself and have to wonder whether some part of me is making my liking for them up for entertainment just so it isn't bored to tears by my lack of lovelife 24/7.
Bright side: Got ling exam mark and got 79% ... in uni terms that equals a distinction. Yeah baby!
Stayed up til 6 am finishing psych assignment other morning. Note to self, make appointment with counsellor because I am f***ing insane. Isn't it cute that I scribbled this on a hot pink postit and stuck it up near other messages such as "Get a haircut"?
Okay, maybe not cute so much as darn weird. But the postit looks damn cute .. woo ..
Am wearing string of fake pearls I bought yesterday. Also bought a backpack and a tacky shirt with "Midnight Cowgirl" written on it.
Mmm, tacky. Meanwhile, should arrange weekly or at least fortnightly shopping trips with Alex. Although possibly not too frequent as my bank account keeps emptying at alarming rates.
I did some more shopping today (was out of net time, bought more [prepaid]) and there is only about $150 left in there ... I'm not even sure that will cover the beauticians, hairdressers and proof of age card. Crap.
Meanwhile am having seriously mixed emotions about oncoming birthday. Possibly because I always expect them to be perfect and when they inevitably fall short I go on an anger trip with myself ... it's not fun ... so this year I shall stay at home and bundle myself up and wait for the day to be over.
Possibly I might barricade the windows and doors for fun.
Meanwhile my mother is insisting we go out to dinner. Yuck. I don't like taking my parents out together in public ... they go beyond embarrassing too much of the time.
So, basic yuckfest planned next week. Although presents from parents will be somewhat of a yay (new phone, thank god) so perhaps that will salvage it. How's your week looking?
