2003-03-28 - 6:20 p.m.
Sick to my stomach and then some, life goes up, life goes down, life goes down, life goes down.
We walk together but we stand alone, and I'm so tired of this spiral, the falling helplessly until for a few moments things even out and you think that it might okay but then everything slides out of your grasp, out of control again.
Sick of guys yelling at me from cars, sick of falling behind, sick of the world, so sick of myself, and so very sick of the way diseases keep attacking the people I care about.
Sudden vision of myself dressed up superhero-style, armed with tanks of antibodies and good curesome drugs, giving the squinty eyes to the evil diseases and some funny cool tough guy line like "Let's do lunch," except something actually funny and cool.
Strangle fate for me if you see her. I'll still be here, but only because I'm no good at moving on and I don't actually know how to give up, if I did I so would have quit by now.
We walk together but we stand alone, and I'm so tired of this spiral, the falling helplessly until for a few moments things even out and you think that it might okay but then everything slides out of your grasp, out of control again.
Sick of guys yelling at me from cars, sick of falling behind, sick of the world, so sick of myself, and so very sick of the way diseases keep attacking the people I care about.
Sudden vision of myself dressed up superhero-style, armed with tanks of antibodies and good curesome drugs, giving the squinty eyes to the evil diseases and some funny cool tough guy line like "Let's do lunch," except something actually funny and cool.
Strangle fate for me if you see her. I'll still be here, but only because I'm no good at moving on and I don't actually know how to give up, if I did I so would have quit by now.
