2005-05-25 - 5:28 p.m.
In hindsight, I realise I meant "You're not the right one."
Once I told a boy I loved him.
There had been a sudden rain of emotion, and my heart felt his tears like corrosive splinters. I had suspected It for awhile, but in that moment, I Knew.
The words left my mouth immediately, and were greeted with the widest smile, and a contented "I know."
We're not together anymore. I think my heart may be a present he doesn't really want.
Often I will circle and circle around this, then change my perspective, and circle and circle around that. I stay mostly silent on it, but it's always trickling, or racing around my brain.
So for this once, I wanted to say it. Say what everybody who knows me already knows well, say what even the illiterate have already guessed.
I'm still in love with him.
I have been since the first night he took my hand in his.
shhhhh.